“Sounds pretty sweet.”

That’s the most common phrase I hear when I tell people that I write about the outdoors for a living, and for the most part, I can’t argue. I work from home, make my own hours, take time off when I want, I get some free gear every now and then, and I spend all my time writing about my hobbies and about learning new ones. I can’t complain, really, without sounding like an ingrate.

HOWEVER-it’s still a job, and there are a few stresses that come along with the benefits. Allow me to vent for a second.

1. Reputation-if you turned in a report in high school and it was terrible, the only people that would know it were you, your teacher, and maybe a friend or two, and you may not have cared. If I write something that sucks, it’s out there for everybody (including potential clients) to see and judge (and with the handy ability for readers to comment anonymously on some sites, sometimes they do so in spades).

2. Uncertainty-I’ve heard the phrase ‘feast or famine’ when talking about freelance work, and there is an element of suspense right around contract signing time. I’ve hung on to some contracts for ludicrous amounts of time, while websites that I’ve written for have been shut down with no warning or explanation. Gotta love the rollercoaster.

3a. Deadlines-remember college, when you had a paper due the next day? My deadlines vary quite a bit, so that’s pretty much the underlying feeling I have every day. It’s not as torturous as it sounds, but there’s always that foreboding sense of tomorrow.

3b. This is pretty much my fault, but there are times when the procrastination monster takes over and before I know it, every article that I’m working on is due in the next few days (days like today, for instance). I know that this is my fault, but that doesn’t make it any less harrowing.

That said, I’m still a happy camper. Some days, I’ll get my work done by 10am, take a nap, go for a run, and play Modern Warfare all day. If every day was that easy, I might start to feel spoiled. Naah.

As anyone who knows me is aware, I’m wary of shopping at Winco. Even though it’s huge, which equals suck when I only want one or two things, it’s almost always packed. Granted, there are times when it’s fairly quiet, or I run into friends, or the place is full of people who are generally on the pleasant side. That’s like winning the social lottery. Most times, it’s packed with people who fray my every nerve…we’ve all seen kids throw up, motorized carts stall when blocking an aisle, and people spending twenty minutes trying to barter with a cashier. Every trip feels like I’m emotionally slamming my hand in a door. BUT…it is cheap, and I have to compliment the employees general demeanor, so to Winco we go.

Which is the reason that Heather and I have found it necessary to develop an awesome way to expedite the process of shopping there: The Satellite System.

When we hit Winco, we’re a tactical team that focuses on getting in, getting our stuff, and getting the heck out. Since Heather’s got the purse, she stays with the cart, working the perimeter of the store, while I (the satellite) take off and grab four or five things from the list and bring them back.Then repeat, until everything on the list is crossed off.

I usually go section by section and we effectively cut our Winco time in half-we’re usually home and recovering before I have a chance to lose my faith in humanity.

If you’ve got a shopping buddy, try it. Then thank me.

Also, look at this kid. He seems pretty well-adjusted, with a fair measure of confidence. Granted, I’d be pretty confident if my hand was spewing fire, but it’s nice to have an example of a ‘nerd’ who may actually have some measure of social skills. Props to this guy. Now let’s see him foil some crime.

It’s interesting to see how a change in editing can make the same product look so different.
The questions that I have now are, which The Wolfman are we getting? And which would you rather see?

It’s recently come to my attention that I pop in some strange places. Here are a few notable regions of body popping.

1. My sternum: when I arch my back or put my arms over my head first thing in the morning, my sternum cracks. It’s really weird, considering that’s not really a joint.

2. My sacroiliac joint: My right hip, right where it connects to my spine pops. It’s right at the top of my butt, and it only pops when I lay down on my back and lift my head off the floor with my hands. It was disconcerting at first, but now it feels really good when I can do it. Started after I wrenched my back mountain biking. Good times.

3-4. The tops of both feet: Right where my big toe metatarsal meets up with my tarsal bone pops really loudly on both feet. Sometimes it happens when I walk, sometimes I have to pull up on the ball of my feet. It never happened until I started running, but now I can do it a few times a day.

5. My right elbow: When I straighten my right arm and twist it quickly, my elbow pops. Sometimes it feels good, sometimes it hurts like crap, but it started after I cracked it on a tabletop at Mt. Shasta.

Anybody else have any weird body things to remind you that you’re aging?

So keep an eye out for some updates here, on Media-pocalypse and Fresh Air. Should have some fun stuff coming up.

I’m at the library trying to get a head start on my deadlines, and I love this place. Free wifi, nice and quiet (usually), and most important, no Playstation 3 to distract me.
What does distract me at times are the people. The public. In particular-the seniors who pass gas as if there was no one else around. Really, what is that? Do you really want that to be your legacy?

Also, about 30 feet away from me is a gentleman sitting in a chair reading the newspaper. He moves his lips as he reads, occasionally nodding his head and smiling knowingly if something strikes him. He’s holding the newspaper sideways.

When he puts it down I’m going to try to find the mystery code that he’s obviously found.

I need an office or something.

Absolute perfection occurs very rarely in our daily lives. This video reminds me of such a time.

When I was in 8th grade, we used to have “open gym” during lunch, where we could play basketball and otherwise run off our energy for the rest of the day. It was a rectangular space with room for one huge court and bleachers. For lunch and PE, both sets of bleachers were pulled back to make room for three basketball courts side-by-side. With its huge open space and enormous ceiling, it had a scope and echo of some tin cathedral to social akwardness.

So, around 12 everyday, everyone would eat, then the 400 of us would file into the gym to run around, yell, jockey for popularity, (sadly) attempt to flirt, gossip and wish we had worn deodorant, stopping when the bell (actually, an electric tone that sounded like a robotic bombing raid siren from WWII movies) would ring.

I used to have this horrible sinking feeling every time I heard that damn bell, and I’d always try to cram in, like, 2 more seconds of fun before I had to leave.

Sometimes desperation can lead to great things.

One day the bell rang and I had a basketball in my hand. I looked up and the first thing I saw was my friend Brian Beech on the other side of the gym, talking to someone. Before I could even think about it, I reared back and hurled that ball with everything I had.

I saw the basketball’s perfect arc with growing fascination as is slowly made its way towards Brian. The average basketball court is 85 feet. I had hoped that it would land within a few feet of him and scare him a bit.

As usual, there is a better plan for us than the one we make.

The ball struck Brian on the top of the head, knocking his glasses off, and snapping his eyes and mouth wide open in a spasm of shock and awe.

I raised my fists in a victorious celebration, knowing that I had just made a memory that would last forever.

I don’t think there’s one that I’d pick, even narrowing it down to a top 5 seems daunting, but I think I’ve narrowed it down…here we go.

These 5 are ranked on how they’ve affected me personally as well as how “good” I think the movie is, so it’s going to be a bit subjective, AND I should note that they’re not in any order, they are just in my top 5 rotation.

• The Usual Suspects-This is just darn good storytelling. You know what? It’s damn good. There, I said it. It’ll make you smack your forehead. If you haven’t seen this, I don’t know thee.
  
• Brick-I’ve posted about this movie before, and it’s just awesome. A hard-boiled detective story straight out of the 50′s, set in a modern day high school. Awesome dialogue, great characters, and a perfectly complimentary score.
  
• Glengarry Glen Ross-I saw this while I was living my telemarketing Hell, and it hit home. It’s got more amazing actors in one film than you’ll see in a summer of blockbusters, and each of them puts on a show. Alec Baldwin and Al Pacino both have monologues that alone are worth a rent.
  
• Romeo and Juliet-I’ve got reservations about Baz Luhrman, but this was a freaking home run. One of the best stories ever retold in a stylized version of modern day SoCal. The way Luhrman uses the old English language and makes it relevant is brilliant.



• Fight Club-Based on Chuck Pahlaniuk’s great novel, with the crappy job, rampant machismo, and pervasive nihilism, this movie speaks to the little anarchist living in my head. Ed Norton is brilliant, and Brad Pitt makes for an awesome Id.

There we go-my soul is bared. There is no denying the awesome-ness. Contradict this list at your own risk.

Crap I just thought of five more. Get ready for 6-10.

We discussed cooking for a bit, then I mentioned that I was a fan of eating meat. In fact…

“I’ll know that I’ve become a success when I can afford to eat the last of a species. Something BIG, too. It doesn’t mean anything if you catch the last of some kind of bird in a net, that can be chalked up to luck, you know?”

As I spoke my voice started to rise…

“I want to eat the last blue whale in existence…that would take a whole fleet of boats, explosive harpoons, the whole deal. Just track that sucker down, blow it up, and tear off a chunk before it sinks! Then I’ll know I’ve made it in life!”

By then I was standing up, making hand motions and everything. When I finished, I noticed that 11 people were either staring at me, horrified, or doing everything in their power to avoid eye contact.

Anyway, looks like this came true (sort of):

World’s Rarest Shark Caught, Eaten. Yum